"what the fu--" Rufus rolled out of his bed onto the floor, tangled in a heap of white sheets. "goddammit..." he frantically groped for the phone on the coffee table. "hello?"

"Rufus! hi..." his little sister chirped cheerfully.

his face cringed. "Marthaaaaa...why are you calling?! don't you realize it's..." he grabbed the hotel alarm clock and stared at it. "...10:30 in the morning...fuck."

"yeah, fuck is right. i couldn't sleep last night! what were you guys doing in there? sheesh! wait, i don't want to know...please, don't tell me Ru." she sighed. "anyways...you're late. as usual. get out of bed, Wonder Shlong." with a click, the happy voice was gone.

"i swear," he murmured. "she is too damn cheerful." he grabed his box of cigarettes off of the table and lit one, taking a long, deep drag out of it.

"hey, you okay honey?" a voice called from the bed. a slim, tall man with red glitter lipstick smeared across his face and heavy eye makeup batted his eyes at Rufus. he stroked the long blonde hair of his wig with his fingers.

Rufus nodded. "yeah, i'm okay."

the boi in bed giggled. "last night was great for me. was it good for you?"

"it must have been, considering my HUGE headache this morning..."

fetching red jacket

"I'd be a fool not to use it, wouldn't I?" he smiled warmly, and his svelte, naked body promptly disappeared into the bathroom.

Rufus arranged the various bedclothes around his waist in an effort to get up. He rubbed his thigh thoughtfully and made a little noise, "Ahmmm..."

greygardens

"John?" Rufus called from the bedroom. "John, are my pants in there?"

"Which ones, darling?" he said in his high-pitched feminine voice.

"You know...the new ones. The green ones with the pinstripes..."

"Aaaah, yes." He looked around the room and saw the pants in a heap on the floor. John looked at the pants--then looked at the door. He grinned coyishly, and said, "well, maybe, if you came in here, you'd find them..."

Rufus sighed and walked in the door, completely bare. "Ah, there they are--" in mid sentence Rufus was interrupted by John kissing him, smearing red glitter all over his mouth. Rufus ran his fingers through John's wig, wrapping his fingers around the faux waxy hair. Rufus pulled away. "No, John I have to--" John covered Rufus's mouth in another kiss before he could say any more, licking the bitter aftertaste of coffee out of the gorgeous musician's mouth. "--To go," Rufus finally gasped as he backed away for air. "No, I really do. Martha is going to kill me."

fetching red jacket

He made a tangle-legged turn for the back exit of the venue, fumbling for his cigarette pack in the front pocket of his white dress shirt. He noticed bits of glitter gleaming up at him from the material.

Teddy crossed his path and looked at him bemusedly.

"Keep little Martha sweet for me Teddy." Rufus ordered as he flew past. "Just going for a quick smoke."

His head felt like oatmeal and his throat more than a little gnarled. He certainly couldn't sing like this.
Cigarette now, and a soothing drink when he returned to the venue he decided.

The back of the building was nothing too pretty. Rufus poised himself on the top of a garbage can and took in a large draw of fresh tobacco. It felt good.
The sex last night had been good too, refreshing in an odd way. It had been a while since he had been granted the time to be intimate with someone.
The band were in Montreal for a couple of nights. It was great to be home. Last night was for relaxing, tonight was the show.

Rufus hadn't planned on going out last night, but something pulled him out. Hell, this was Montreal, time to take stock, see what was new!
What really caught his eye was a new discoteque called Le Petit Pois. Strange name, but it was a gay club and he knew he had to make the scene.
Several young men had recognised him, bought him a drink or two and asked for autographs to which he obliged.

He was tired though, having travelled on the purple bus from Toronto that afternoon and had trouble getting some sleep. Rufus decided to retire at the smallest of three bars and just soak up the atmosphere. The music was good, and there was plenty of eye candy to take in.

It was here that he had met John, a white-blond boy of just 22. He was shy and obviously knew who Rufus was, but remained respectfully in the shadows, waiting to be - hopefully - spoken to.

Rufus had admired his overtly feminine manner and dress; not always his cup of tea, but it was John's beautiful look and soft-spokeness that captured him. The two had just naturally fell into conversation and Rufus appreciated an ear for his tour-weary self. John was rapt in his attention.

They agreed to leave the club for more quiet, walking the cobbled streets for a couple of hours. It was warm and dry, and John even slipped off his mules for a bit.

It was 3 am when they traced their way back to the hotel.
John wanted desperately to be with Rufus that night - god, he was beautiful in the moonlight...it would be a dream come true.
Rufus needed a good, healthy shag, simply put. But he had made a connection with John, too. It felt right.

They were naked within seconds of entering Rufus' room, tearing the bed apart with their frantic lovemaking, both full of such need.

"That's what Martha must have heard" Rufus smiled to himself. He was now on to his second cigarette.

There had been a tenderness too. John had cradled Rufus in his arms, the room deathly quiet, their heartbeats accelerating and now thumping in subdued unison.
Rufus had sighed and let go, he felt like he had found a home of sorts in more places than one.

He stamped out the fag end and considered having a third in an effort to chainsmoke away the early afternoon.

"Rufus!"

Martha suddenly flung the thin wooden door open, looking straight ahead, then turning to her right to see her brother pushing the cigarette pack back in his pocket, along with a small box of matches.

She peered round the door, looking her angelic best and speaking softly.

"Are you ready to honour us with your presence once more?"

"Yeah...whatever...I'm gonna need a hot toddy first, though."

The two of them ambled back in.
Rufus patted his green, pinstriped back pocket and felt the outline of John's bit of paper.

greygardens

oh no, oh no, oh no....
oh no, oh no, oh no....
oh no, oh no, no...kiddin...

rufus sang so hard that his face burned, and the microphone was hot with his breath. martha sat in the audience, a look of pride in her brother on her face, but at the same time she felt a twinge of jealousy. she was the internationally ignored song stylest, martha wainwright, while her entire family had been such a huge success without her. she was good, she knew she was, but she didn't have what people were looking for. she loved music, with her whole heart, but no matter what she did, how well she sang, people didn't care. she wasn't beautiful enough. she knew that she didn't have the sizzling sex appeal that her brother had, holding the mic to his mouth suggestively, tearing off his shirt as he tore (no pun intended) through "evil angel." she wasn't hot, she didn't have T&A, and she wasn't a size 0. and she hated herself for it.

fetching red jacket

Rufus raked his fingers through his long, tousled hair and walked over to Martha, still brooding a little. He placed his hand on the back of her head and exacted a small peck on her forehead.
Martha could feel her lips pursed in a slight pout, but as her brother towered over her she felt it proper to relax them in a warm smile.

"I think we should do 'Sally Ann' tonight, he announced to the band. "It sounded beautiful."

He buttoned up most of his damp shirt, save for the top two buttons.

"Well, that's good enough for me, kiddos. I'll see you all back here at 7."

Rufus had a chat about one of the moniters with a sound technician, then made his way to a phone. He pulled out the bit of paper from his back pocket and eyed up John's flowery writing.
Should he invite him to dinner? Out for a quick drink? To the show tonight?

It was 3: 00 pm on a Saturday afternoon and traffic bustled and hummed through the window next to where Rufus mulled.

He let out a little sigh.

greygardens

His blond hair still wet. He faces himself straightly. Stern eyes. Pitiful eyes then. He could be an actor. A support actor, why not? Through all his life he has always left behind. He was never first in anything. When their parents broke out he was left behind with the only one woman he loved, his best friend and aunt Janet, a sensitive and lovely ballet teacher who gave him a profession and someplace to call home.
He remembered why he went to the gay club yesterday and sighed. Reclined again for a role in a ballet play he had to have some fun. But he could not. He didnt move his lips neither his body until that magical and unexpected moment when Rufus came to talk to him. Mr. Wainwright was so funny, so much ironic he made John to laugh and laugh and even forget money was running out and that he was again refused for a role.

He got naked and looked at the mirror. Gazed his chest and legs for a while. I could have been a great artist if someone ever had given me a decent chance. Ill be 20 years old next month. Would it be too late for a change?

He started dancing ballet pretending he was in a great theater dancingfor a ballet or for Rufus showyes this would be greatI could do thatdancing while he plays a piano small piece written specially for methis would be great

Riiiiiiiiiiing.

The phone rings.
- Rufus?
- Rufus? Who is Rufus, John?
- Aunt Janet. It is youwell Rufus? Hunno oneI meanthe one. Rufus Wainwright. I met him yesterday.
- Rufus? Isnt that little effeminate stuck upson of the TV good looking Loudon Wainwright III?
- JaneHe is not effeminate.
- Little John, my girl. So you met him yesterday? Heytalking about yesterdaywhere have you been? You know I dont like to follow you up at allbut it would be nice if you say if you will or will not come homeanywayso where did you spend the night yesterday?
- WellI was atRufuss Hotel
- Rufuss hotel? What do you mean?
- ErRufus bed?
- John? Did you sleep with this man?
- Wellwe did sleep a couple of hours he he he
- Johnthis is amazingis it big?
- Janet !!!
- He he he hejust kidding John. Did you like it?
- Oh yeah! He is great. He is funnyand wellhe is hot. Even a little drunk.
- So thats why you thought it was him when I called you?
- Yes Jane. But he will not callwill he?
- Guess notMenthey are always the same. Anyway son. Wait for me that I will be getting home in half an hour. Do you want me to bring you anything?
- Perhaps Prozac? Or Vodka? Or a handsome man?
- Johnhe he heyou are so kindbye baby.
- Bye Jane.

\\\

Rufus got back to the hotel. He asked if a John has called. No, no one has called you sir, answers the manager.
Inside the room he takes off his clothes and go for a shower. Strange the boy didnt call me. He was so boring following me and now he is gone. All my fans I sleep with keep pissing me off calling every single secondbut he did not. Fuck. I dont like the way these thoughts are comingI have been in this road beforecome on my old pall, stop thinking about this John

He could not. Everything in the room reminds him of John. He looks for the phone and thinks I am going to call him. When his hand is close to the phone, it rings. Rufus says:

- I know you would call me you little bastard
- Son?
- Daddy? SorryI
- Little bastard? Where is that polite guy I thought you to be? Little bastardyou should have said Sonofabichhe he he
- He he heyou dont change, do you Mr One man guy
- Hey did you really like to record this one son?
- Yes daddyfor the 324 time I will answer you that yes, I loved to record this one
- Thats nice because I have another 249 songs waiting for your choice
- Daddycome onetake it easy bro he he he
- Sohave you found yourself a new boy friend?
- Well not yet
- Well, I would like to show you my new girlshe is an actressshe is famous and she is hot
- Certainly she is daddyalthough I dont like girls at all
- Well son, what a wastewhy dont you try just onceyou may like it,,,
- Daddy we dont need to go through that againI am happy
- I knowbut those girls they are so great.Hey I wanna see you. Maybe next month. Gotta go now. She is waiting for me
- Daddydid you call me just to say you fucked a new girl friend?
- Sure son. What is the big deal of fucking someone and not telling EVERYONE?
- Daddylove ya.
- Take care baby. AIDS is out therelet it outbye son
- Bye daddy.

BrazilianFan

"lonely, are ya bub?" he laughed, and dried himself and got out of the shower (not in that order ). "fine then," he said to mr. scholng. "we'll give john a call."

fetching red jacket

Once in the car, Rufus put on a c.d. of classical music, and drove around, while John pointed out various buildings and interesting architecture,and sights he thought Rufus would like,all the while feeling excited just to have Rufus sitting next to him, he wished Rufus would touch him...
After awhile, Rufus stopped at a convenience store to buy cigarettes
"do you want anything"? he asked John
"a bottled water,thanks"
john watched Rufus walk into the store, admiring the confident stride with which he walked. Rufus returned to the car moments later handing John the water.
"We should get back soon,Rufus said, i can't be late".
"Right". John agreed trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.
Rufus started the car and headed back toward the hotel. the sun was just beginning to set. as they drove by a park, Rufus suddenly stopped the car and pulled over. "john, i had a great time,really.. and i hope i'm reading things right,because i really want to ki..
John didn't let him finish, he leaned in and gave him an intoxicating kiss that made them both feel as if they had just been flipped uoside down on a roller coaster with no warning
john lost the grip on the water bottle he had been holding,and it fell to the floor of the car
"my God, Rufus sighed where did you learn to kiss like that"?
John ignored the question, and simply said "when can i see you again"?
Rufus smiled at him and gently touched his cheek,"the sooner the better"
Rufus dropped john off at his car, down the street from the hotel, and promised to call after the show.
in the elevator, on the way up to his room,words to a song ran through his mind-
{turn on the radio,play it soft and low
on a quiet road, we drive home
and i will drive you wild with my kisses
i will drive you wild}

Rufus smiled to himself as he unlocked his door, anticipating what the evening would bring...

\\\

*the concert*
the concert was great.Rufus,as usual, put everything he had into the performance. there were still a couple of weeks left of the tour,and though he was tired from the strain of traveling,he gave the audience an incredible show.
after the show he ducked backstage and quickly called John
"what are you doing"?Rufus asked
"laying on the couch watching a repeat of "Golden Girls"
"oh my God, i love that show! yelled Rufus,"which episode is it"?
John gave the phone a bemused expression,laughed softly,andtold Rufus about the episode,then asked
"rufus,don't you have like thousands of people adoring you right now?why would you be interested in a t.v. show and lounging on the couch"?
"John,Rufus sighed, would you believe me if i told you that *all* i want right now is to relax and not have to think about anything,I'm so tired".
'Well, john replied, why don't you come over and relax for awhile when you're finished there"?
"i thought you'd never ask.give me an hour.. and your address..

*john's house*
john greeted Rufus at the door, looking wonderful in a soft gray sweater that complimented his light blue eyes beautifully. his dark blonde hair was perfectly tousseled, looking just the right amount of messy to be sexy, and there was that smile again,Rufus was glad he had come over.
john gave him a tour of the house. it was nice,tastefully but modestly decorated,very comfortable.
"i live with my aunt,john told him,"she teaches ballet and she's out of town for a performance right now"
"really? rufus was interested "i like ballet.sounds like she has a wonderful job".
"it's not all fun,john said,"the auditions can be miserable. i just got turned down, again, a couple of days ago".
"you dance"? rufus asked i mean, i guess i didn't knowwhat you did. funny, i don't know much about you,but it seems like i know you well,or whatever,you know"?
"i know" john replied
John showed rufus his room, and as rufus looked at the books on the shelves,john asked "can i get you anything"
"do you have any chocolate"?
john smiled, "i'll see what i can do, be right back".
in a moment he was back with a bowl of pastel colored m&m's and two bottles of water.
thanks", said rufus and followed john over to the bed where thy both flopped down, john reached op on the headboard and turned on the radio. it was an easy listening station,and a burt bacharach song was playing softly.
"who sings this,john"? rufus quizzed him playfully
"dionne warwick,mr. musician" john quipped,"i'm not completely naive when it comes to music,you know".
"well, i'll bet you don't know that much about opera.." rufus teased
"guilty as charged" john laughed, "but i could tell you a lot about neil diamond...
"no"! rufus screamed laughing,he looked up at the ceiling and said "Lord forgive him, he's a kind soul, just mislead "shut up"! john laughed too, hitting rufus playfully with a pillow. rufus thought about what a great laugh john had. so sexy and sincere at the same time...
john propped himself on his elbow and looked down at rufus,laying beside him.
'what are you thinking about"? rufus asked him softly
"i'm thinking that you're beautiful in so many ways,and i'm glad you came over".
Rufus smiled,and replied,"oh. well, is there any chance your'e also thinking that you might want to kiss me, because i really need you to kiss me right now....

greygirl

"Rufus Wainwright wants *me* to kiss him..." John assured himself. He wasn't dreaming, the man himself was looking directly at him, eyes wide and full of anticipation.
Just when John thought he had seen Rufus at his most beautiful, another scene was set, and Rufus glided in on gilded shoes to prove him wrong.

John reached gently over and splayed his hand ably on Rufus' stubbled jaw. Rufus pressed his face into it, closing his eyes and relishing John's touch - a touch he was becoming addicted to.
Rufus opened his eyes and tugged at John's sweater collar, pulling him down to meet his mouth. The last thing John saw was an ocean of blue, blurred but bright, the sweet intoxicating scent of lavender, cigarette smoke and a faint hint of fresh perspiration filling his nostrils.
John's senses reeled as though it were a first kiss. The surroundings were quiet, intimate and his own. Rufus had chosen to be here of his own free will.

They explored each others' mouths slowly. Their tongues swirled and danced in harmonious circles, thrusting here and there, diving down deeper in a mark of pure intimacy. They each thought independently that the other was the best they had ever kissed.

John's body was naturally moving to cover Rufus', seeking to meld with his, judging where his curves would fit best with this gorgrous expanse.
The heartbeat between his legs became so intense, he felt sure Rufus' could feel it, hear it even.

Rufus moaned in complete contentment, threading his long fingers through John's hair, pressing down on his head and engulfing his mouth with his.
John disengaged himself for a few moments so that he might look upon this beautiful man in his bed.
Rufus lay there, smiling, his eyelids heavy, his eyelashes like open fans.

"Are you ok?" John asked him. He felt a little silly for asking, Rufus was certainly alright with this event.

"Mmmm...yes I am, sweetie." Rufus growled. "Am I scaring you?"

"No! Nono..." John sputtered. "I'm..I'm just ...overcome...you...Rufus, I...I'm awed by you...amazed that you are here with me in my bed."

John felt like a seal positioned on top of Rufus, a little odd while delivering such sentiment.
Rufus played with John's hair while he spoke, smiling closed-lipped with eyes that sparkled and glinted as though powered by batteries.

The bowl of M&Ms had been dutifully carried by Rufus through the house tour and they now sat on one of the bedside tables. Rufus turned towards them, his hand around John's back, and plucked a couple from the bowl.

"Oooh, one of them's blue" Rufus cooed. "They match your eyes, gorgeous."
Rufus deposited the candies into John's mouth and let his fingers enter slighty as well. John held Rufus' hand and softly sucked at his fingertips.

They met for another kiss, and within seconds the pale-coloured orbs of sweetness melted in their mouths. The combination of chocolate and their own warm juices slipped back and forth as John rolled on his back and brought Rufus with him.
Feeling his weight spreading across him was a glorious feeling.
John wrapped his arms tightly around Rufus' small waist and allowed himself to drift away, deliciously lost on the ocean, waiting for further navigation.

greygardens

Love of my lifeyouve hurt meYouve stolen my love and now you leave melove of my life cant you see? Bring it backbring backdont take you away from me because you dont knowwhat you mean to me

John danced as he has never danced in all his life. Each single movement was amazing and precise. Each single muscle of his body was telling the world, was telling Rufus for Rufus was his world was telling the world how much pain this poor boy had already passed through.

Love of my lifedont leave meyouve saved my souland now desert melove of my life cant you see? Bring it backbring backdont take you away from me because you dont knowwhat you mean to me

He danced and danced as if his body was a big eye crying all the immense sadness John has acquired himself all those years.

You wont rememberwhen this is all overand everything is gone by the way

John kept dancing as if Rufus was not there. He did not dare to face Rufus. The pain was massive.

When we grow olderI will be there at your sideto remind youthat I still love you.I still love you

When the music ended he stopped in front of Rufus.
Johns eyes were full of tears and his face was wet, red.
He gazed at Rufus.
Rufus was mouth opened. Crying and sighing.
Rufus had never seen an artist so pure and genuine.
Rufus smiled at John and started to clap.
He said:
Fabulous. Bravo. Bravo. You are wrong Johnyou are not an ordinary person. You are special. You have a talent. A gift. You are fantastic.
John smiled.
I will never forget you baby. I promise you that

BrazilianFan

"You are fabulous, John. You have touched my heart and I won't forget it."

Rufus leaned in and gave John a long, lingering kiss. He disengaged his hands and wrapped them tightly around John's back. John held on to Rufus for dear life, kissing him as though attempting to extract a bit of the musician's soul for his own.
John nuzzled Rufus' warm neck and whimpered a little.

"I..I feel like a little boy in your arms, Rufus" he stammered. "I don't want you to let me go...I can't stand losing you."

Rufus stroked John's soft blond hair and stared at the middle distance.

"I can't predict what's going to happen in the next few weeks, sweetie." Rufus cooed. "But I'm feeling something with you that I don't think I've ever felt..."

John looked into Rufus' glazed-over eyes.

"Really...?" He was admittedly surprised by such an intimate disclosure.

"Yeah.." Rufus hummed.

They embraced and kissed again. The foyer was quiet apart from Aunt Janet's grandfather clock and the sweet sighs of affection.

"I have your number.." Rufus stated, patting the top pocket of his crisp, mint- green shirt. "But come to the airport, ok?"

"Ok.." John smiled as bravely as he could.
He wanted to say "I love you", but thought better of it.

Rufus winked at John, and within a few seconds was striding out the front door to the waiting cab, bound for breakfast with Kate and Martha.

\\\

John glanced at his watch. It was 6:45 am. He had danced for Rufus in the morning light...how perfect. Europe, or the possibility of it seemed far, far away in his mind. All he could think of was the man he had spent the last two nights with, wrapped in his warmth..the flight was scheduled to leave at twelve. Best make himself look presentable for a good-bye.
.........

The taxi drew up to the cafe where his mother and sister were waiting. Rufus pressed some assorted notes into the cab driver's hand rather absent-mindedly, and stretched his long legs out the door and up to the cafe entrance.
He had come to one conclusion in these few moments: he would tell his mother about John.

greygardens

He knew the boy was not to blame. Neither he was to blame. Neither his wife was. The guilty was at only one mans hands. This musician. This freak. He had poisoned his little baby into desiring men. Into being one of them.
Jesushow awfulpoor little Jimhe was too much naive for not being influenced.
And this musician would pay for transforming his little Jim into a Sodomy man. Effeminate man.
This devils messenger has ruined his sons life.
Made him one of the damned.
And today we buried him for he has killed himself.
He must be in hell. I know that. And to there I will send you. I promise that.
He was patiently waiting the arrival of musicians committee - the event that would put his name into the citys history.
He would ever be remembered as the hero who had vanished this dangerous sinner from the surface of earth.
This verminthis evil angel deserves death and Im going to give it to him. There will be no more of your blasphemes, the world had enough of your madness and sinsour children have to be saved of you, mad blasphemerGay messiahhow you dare?God is certainly full of your evilGod help mebut I will make you pay for what you have doneMr. Rufus Wainwright.

\\\

Rufus arrives at the airport and meets with his mother and his sister Martha who leaves to buy something to eat.
Rufus looks around for John.
He is not there yet. Good time for talking to her.
MummyI would like to tell you about something that happened...yesterday"
"Yes, baby...tell me"
"I eryesterdayyou knowIfuck...how could I say that?
"Well...how about we keep the f... word just to mention the f...thing?"
"Sure...in this case...I...fuck...I..."
You did someoneis that?
Wellactually I did someonebutwell
Was it a girl for a change?" She laughed.
"Is she pregnant and Im gonna be a grandmother? Oh manthis is great She laughed a lot. She laughed of herself until she realized he was serious.
No mum. It was a boy.
I Know honeyas always. Just kidding...tell me about him...
He is a ballet dancer. An extraordinary dancer. An extraordinary human beingbuthe is...
Is he positive? Is that? And you did him without protection? Is that? You did without protection again? Tell me is not thatplease
It is definitively not thatIt just happens that I
You???
I amI am in love with him. Thats it. He is gorgeous, sensitive, smartjustjust like
Just like youRujust like you, my son. And does hewellis he into it? I meandoes he?
Does he love me? PerhapsHope soThink so
And why do I feel you arent feeling happy about it?
WellI feel something bad will happen to usEverything is so perfectHe is so pure and I am soso me Rufus laughed. Good sign his mother thought to himself.
And we are going to spend some time in Europeand Im gonna miss him a lotand I am afraid of forgeting about him for he is so special...or worse...I am afraid he forgets about me...We will be in Europe and my heart will be here...missing him...
Sure you will, my sweet fooland then you will cryand then you will drink and use all those other stupid things we dont like you to use and thenfinallyyou will write a dozen of songslike ballet boyorjust johnor Paris is so sadand we will sell a lot of records and live happy till the endhe ha ha ha ha
Mumhe he heyoudont understand
Wellmaybe I domaybe I am just jealous of your luckyall men want you and Im here all alonenone is left for old Mr. Rufuss motherwhat a tramp, huhn?
Mummy love you
Come onmy tarthug old mummy
They embraced each other and Rufus felt peace.
What a magical thing peace is.
When Martha was arriving, she embraced they two and said:
Ok folks, what a scene we have herehun?
Behind her Mark appeared.
He started to walk in their direction.
Mark took his gun and pressed it firmly in his right hand.
Rufus would pay for making his son Jim to kill himself.
Rufus would pay with his own life.

\\\

John took a shower, dressed a white shirt and jeans.
He looked at the mirror and then to Rufus cd on the table. And decided.
Lets go there. Lets face it. Lets say good-bye. Not good-bye. So long. So long is better
He took his car and went to the airport. Singing California.
He went to the International flights gates.
And therehe sees it all.
First Martha is pulled aside by the armed man.
Then Rufuss mother is beaten up.
John runs to stop the man.
The man points his gun on Rufus chest who just happen to not understand the risky he is taking. Rufus stays frozen. Too much scared to run.
Mark is just a few steps away of Rufus.
Mark is ready to press the trigger.
What the fuck are you doing Rufus asked.
I am going to save the world of your sickness. You killed my son with your ideas. With your destructive songs. Your idolatryYou gonna pay with death
Heywhat are you talking about??? Pleasedont you do that
Too late devil. Too late. Final judge came to you
Noooooooo
John yells and jumps in the middle of them, to shelter his love.
Noooooooo Rufus yells.
John is shot. He falls on his knees.
Mark stops.
Drop the gunDrop the gun
The police arrives.
Officer I wontI am going to kill this son of devil
Sirdrop the gunnow
Mark trembles.
In the name of Goddrop the damned gun now !
Mark stops again. He freezes. He just left the gun fall.
The officers go and arrest him.
PDPDwe got a victimwe need an ambulance
John is bleeding.
Half-concious.
Rufus cries and asks for help.
Blood red and viscous on the floor.
John is dying.

BrazilianFan

"i'm sorry, sir, but it's against our regulations--"

"just let me in the fucking asmbulance," rufus yelled, his eyes red and his chin trembling.

the ambulance driver sighed and shrugged, letting rufus in the back.

"we'll meet you at the hospital, Ru," martha called, holding an icepack to her mother's head. with a final wave, the back doors to the ambulance were closed, and the sirens blew.

rufus held john's shaking hand. the boy (for he looked very much like a small child, so vulnerable) trembled and shivered. "please, don't die john..."

@--}---}--

rufus stared out the window at the emergency room. the sun was setting. they had been there for hours. john had gone to surgery, where they were trying to extract the bullet out of his chest.

two white doors swung open, and a doctor came out. "rufus," he said,coming over to the window. "could you come with me, please?"

rufus swallowed hard, and nodded. he followed the white-clad doctor into the hallway, out of the ER waiting room. "mr. wainwright," he said, and sighed. "i have some bad news. your friend...he...he didn't make it through surgery. he was declared dead a half an hour ago."

rufus was a statue. "no." he shook his head. "NO!" he yelled. "where is he? where?!" he ran down the hallway, bashing open all of the doors to the rooms, looking. "john," he cried frantically. "john, where are you honey?"

"mr. wainwright, no don't go in th--"

rufus threw the door open where john was lying on a table, his chest open. he wasn't moving. he ran to john's side, and picked up his hand, putting it to his face. "he's cold..." rufus whispered. "get him some blankets," he yelled at the doctor. "he's cold."

martha and kate ran into the room. "honey..." martha said, holding rufus to her breast. "john is gone, honey. he's gone."

rufus sobbed into his sister's shoulder and collapsed on the floor. "but he's cold..."

fetching red jacket

Rufus had never cried so much in his life, not even as a child. Not simply crying, but weeping, like a baby. Great huge sobs that made his body convulse, agonising wails that Kate could hear from her apartment below.
She had held him, cradled him in her arms, comforted him. It had made her cry, too, overwhelmed as she was that her son needed her this much.

Martha paced the floorboards when she wasn't hugging her brother, singing sweetly in his ear, quietly positioning him on the couch, his mind and body asleep, exausted from grief.

Kate rang Loudon to help ease the stress and pain, tears rolling down her cheeks as she whispered down the phone.

"I've never seen him so shattered.."

Loudon promised he would come and visit that week.

Kate and Martha were finding out just what this young fellow John had meant to Rufus, albeit rather late.

greygardens

One evening he had just had too much. Too much grief...too much sadness...too much shit. "I'm going to go out for a walk," He thought to himself. As he was walking he noticed the beauty around him. He realized that John is gone and the time he had had with him was truly beautiful.

As he was walking he noticed a very beautiful boy standing by the water's edge. "Strange, he looks almost just like...nah it couldn't be." As he got closer, he realized that, "Oh What the Fuck?" "Who the fuck?" There standing in front of him was John. He had to talk to him. He had to find out what happend.

As Rufus got closer he realized that it wa not John. It was however a very close resemblance. "Who are you?" He found himself asking. "Rufus?" The boy asked. "Yes, who are you?"

The boy stod there for a minute. As he spoke he spoke almost too quiietly. "I am John's twin brother Shawn." Rufus was amazed. John stuck out his hand and Rufus shooke it vigorously. Shawn laughed and said "I want to thank you for making my brother so happy. I am sure he loved you greatly or he wouldn't have made such a sacrafice." Rufus was still awestruck t how beautiful this boy was and he had to know him better...how he and John had grown up...John's childhood...Shawn's childhood.

Rufus was confused and for the first time in weeks he found himself smiling. "Shawn, would you like to come with me and get a coffee or maybe a smoke?" Shawn smiled shyly ("Just like John" Rufus thought) "Ok, lets go" he said.

Off Rufus and John went to the local coffee shop for coffee and smokes...

NoBeautyMark

Rufus was walking in the streets of New York. Wandering around to ease the pain. He stopped by a bar for drinking something. He is quiet, observingabsorbing.
He sees the smoke of his cigarette disappearing into the air.
Life is like a cigarette, sir. The bartender spoke to him.
Sorry? Rufus repliedlooking seriously at him.
Life is like a cigarette. Someone did it. Someone lights it. Someone uses it. And then is this is gone in dusts. When it is gonesome remains insidesome is gone to the airto the sky Stop sufferinglet the smoke goeslet John rests
Rufus got scared.
How do you know that? Did you watch it on TV?
No. I did not.
So how do you know it?
It does not matter. Your sadness has spoken to me. Thats all. You are sad and I know why
So Mr. Storytellertell mewhat makes me sad?
You have lost someone you loved. His name is John. John says hi.
Rufus was scared.
Sorrywhat are you talking about?
John says hiRufusisnt this your name? The cigarette does not end. It just transforms. The smoke exists still. John says hi
How do you know those things?
It does not matter. Believe meyou believe, dont you?
Wellthink so. Im scared.
You shouldnt. Death is part of life. Like night and day exists at the same time, in each side of the earth.
This is beautiful.
Life is beautifulfor it never endsJohn says he will love you foreverand he will find you againone day
Can he listen to me?
Yes. While you keep him here. Remember he is suffering for he does not belong anymore here... You have to let him go
How can I do that?
He says he has to know if he would have had a chance with you?
Sure you hadI have never been touched like this before JohnI just would like to thank you for everythingfor giving me the chance of meeting you and for loving meand to show me what love isyou are my trophy
John says thanksand he says he was blessed to have met you
John.I wish you were here.
I am here Rufus
And then the bartender looked directly to Rufus eyes, turned off the television, went the sound system, choose a compact disk and a song started to play:
It was John Lennon singing:
The bartender-John smiled at him and started dancing a incredible ballet piece

Nothing is gonna change my world
Nothing is gonna change my world.
He danced and danced and danced until the music stopped. Then he looked again to Rufus, French-kissed him with a gentle kiss and said
Did I have a chance Rufus?
YesJohnall the chances for I have loved you
Thanks for saving my soul
And then the bartender fell on the floor.
Are you OK?
Yeshe has gonehe will sleep a littlehe deserves it
Yes he doeshe was the most special person I have ever met
Rufus went back to the hotel. He had to rest a little. He had an audience to entertain that night.

\\\

He slept and he saw an extraordinary place full of statues and paintings and beautiful people talking and smiling and singing and there he saw John dancing and he saw Fredie Mercury singing and he saw John Lennon and He saw Marylyn Monroe and James Dean and River Phoenix and a uncountable number of artists and special souls who had already left. And then John said:
Rufusremember mefor I wont forget younever
And Rufus was given a piano and he started playing and singing and then he was waken up. Martha was calling him.
Come on, brocome on Ruits show time
Martha I dreamt with a new songjust let me write it down so I wont forget itok?
You have ten minutes, baby
Thanks sis
He wrote it down and then played the song to himself with his acoustic guitar and after that he went to the audience.

BrazilianFan